![]() If you're playing it against a roomful of other people, possibly with some intoxicants present (hint: the safest ones are illegal), it can be a lot of fun. the computer can get, but they're a laugh now and again.īlack & Bruised, despite its flaws, works best as a head-to-head brawler. The movies that punctuate Boxer's Life mode are pretty funny in and of themselves they aren't exactly worth the price of admission, especially with as frustrating as matches vs. Usually, these fights will have a special provision, like not being able to block, multiple opponents in an endurance match, or having to use only your right arm. As your chosen boxer, you'll progress through six chapters of their story, each one punctuated by a series of fights. "Boxer's Life" may be the most fun for a one-player game it has the most in common with, say, Guilty Gear XX's Story and Mission Modes. There are plenty of secrets to unlock, there's a moderately cool powerup ability that can even the odds in a match (for every ten hits you land, you earn a randomly-bestowed powerup which you can activate with the Z button), and there are a lot of different modes to play through. That's a shame, too, because Black & Bruised gets just about everything right except the gameplay. It's fast-paced, colorful button-mashing, with a sense of humor, but it's still button-mashing. ![]() In just about every match of this game I played, whether it was against the computer or another player, things inevitably degenerated into button-mashing. Sure, you can block and slip punches, but with as fast as those punches come in, it's almost a waste of effort. Instead, you wind up throwing punches back and forth until one of you drops, unless you're very good at mixing up your offense. There aren't any patterns or cues to watch for, especially when you're fighting the computer. You see, each boxer has roughly the same moves, albeit some are faster or stronger than others, and the animation is just about flawless. It's fast and furious boxing action, and that is, oddly, the problem. The unfortunate bit kicks in when you start playing the game. (I do find myself wondering if Holly Vixen's outfit is supposed to look like a cartoon version of BloodRayne, though.) They're all caricatures, of course, but they're all likeable caricatures. The admirable part is that said character design gives the playable boxers insane amounts of personality, particularly with the inclusion of the "Boxer's Life" option, which in other fighting games might be called Story Mode. The character design may be the best part of Black & Bruised, which is both unfortunate and admirable simultaneously. ![]() The same sort of cartoonish parody characters predominate the roster, from the brogue-slinging, battered Irish boxer Mickey McFist, to Tiny, a Canadian lumberjack and the tallest guy in the game. I didn't want to start talking about Mike Tyson's Punch-Out!, but it's almost unavoidable. It really comes into its own-and I tested this, because I care about you-when you've had at least two scotch and sodas, the room's got way too many people in it, everyone's laughing, and you're flailing at the buttons in a desperate attempt to clock a good friend before he clocks you.īlack & Bruised is a cartoonish, overblown, colorful boxing game. It can be played solo, but that's a recipe for frustration at best. It's an unapologetic party title, meant as a vehicle for head-to-head human competition. ![]() Buy 'BLACK & BRUISED': GameCube | PlayStation 2īlack & Bruised is the kind of game that you buy as part of a booze run.
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